Things on my desk: Yes, I am neurodivergent, why do you ask?
• Three hand written to-do lists, each with overlapping tasks remembered and documented at different times in the day. None fully completed.
• Check for $9.16 I am refusing to deposit out of spite from my former auto loan servicer.
• iPad with 15 separate to-do lists sorted by category, aggregated by due date- all complete to date with 21 scheduled tasks remaining for the month. All items from the handwritten to-do lists are captured here, all completed.
• Empty coffee and water cup from this morning. I keep willing the water to refill, but it hasn’t yet worked.
• “What we don’t talk about when we talk about fat” by Aubrey Gordon. Buy this book now. Read it. ESPECIALLY if you are not fat. (clicking the link should take you to buy. I am not savvy enough to earn money off of this; I just like the book.)
• Thank you card from my boss for kicking ass.
Things that are not on my desk physically, but that are here emotionally preventing me from working:
• Two and half foot high stack of dresses I decided to purge from my closet. I have no real plan for executing this donation, but it must happen before our dinner guests arrive for my birthday party tonight. I took the dresses out of my closet this morning. There is no other driving force other than I decided to execute a plan I have not yet made.
• Folded laundry in the living room from yesterday. Today it is folded. Yesterday it was a pile of clean towels.
• 25 pounds of bagged gardening soil leaned against the side of the house that was abandoned by me.
• A sprinkler attachment from the 70’s that was unearthed in the bed of the bushes we cut down. It’s still in the flower bed. We cut the bushes down 6 weeks ago. I haven’t thrown it away because “what if it works?”. It is less than 10 feet from our garden hose, which could answer this burning question for me.
• The sleeves of a bridesmaid dress that I have to wear in a week that I hate. I picked the dress out myself. I was free to choose anything I wanted. I chose this.
• Nagging feeling that now that I have decided to buy life insurance I will drop dead before underwriting.
• My cell phone.
• The corpses of thousands of defeated** army worms in our yard.
I wish I could impress upon you just HOW many more bullets should be in the above list, but I’ll leave something for the imagination.
**I stare at the ground each time I take the dogs outside to reconfirm that my wife did in fact kill all of those wriggly fuckers and so far we remain safe from the army worms.